Nathan Klose

Always roll out of bed like an old pine cone. Run
out of hot water before you've even hopped in the shower. On Monday,
stop at the first flower shop on the way to work and

buy out all its roses. Tuck a few inside your breast pocket so that
people have to stop and smell you. Huck half of the rest
in a bin, place the other half behind the shop

in a little rain water. Bend down to tighten
your shoe laces every time you punch in. Do so until your feet
look like

two worn out smiles and
your wife begins to say she said
yes only 'cause she admired the joy in your step.
Spill something

on your shirt at least once a day

and then, before you've even unbuttoned your neck
button or rocked your tie, kindly ask your wife to rub
it out with club soda. When she's close enough,

rediscover her hair, its smell, its subtle taste, and then you can
unbutton the neck button, and then you can rock the tie. If you

really want to get through the week unscratched, or want to be love
to those you love, or want to marry old and die young --
do this, start this. Your grandpa
has to use the bathroom now.